Generic funnies

These 121 English idioms are the plain kind of funny — phrases like "raining cats and dogs" or "a few sandwiches short of a picnic." No inside knowledge needed. Each one is explained in full: what it means, where it came from, why it is funny, and how to use it. Useful for English learners and anyone who likes a good phrase.

• a baker's dozen Thirteen, rather than the usual twelve.
• a bee in your bonnet To be preoccupied or obsessed with a single idea, and to keep bringing it up.
• a bull in a china shop A clumsy person who causes damage or chaos in a situation that calls for care and delicacy.
• a busman's holiday Time off that you spend doing the same thing you do at work anyway.
• a chip on your shoulder A lasting feeling of resentment or grievance, often making someone quick to take offence.
• a cock and bull story A far-fetched, unbelievable story or excuse.
• a couple of cans short of a six-pack A jokey way of saying that someone is a bit foolish or not all there.
• a curate's egg Something that is partly good and partly bad, yet politely described as if the good parts make up for the rest.
• a curtain twitcher A nosy person who secretly watches their neighbours from inside their house.
• a damp squib Something that is a disappointing failure, especially after being expected to be exciting.
• a few fries short of a Happy Meal A jokey way of saying that someone is a bit foolish or eccentric.
• a few sandwiches short of a picnic A humorous way of saying that someone is a little foolish, eccentric, or not quite all there.
• a fish out of water A person who feels uncomfortable or out of place in an unfamiliar situation.
• a frog in your throat A temporary hoarseness or croak in your voice, usually from a cold or from not having spoken in a while.
• a leopard can't change its spots People cannot change their basic nature or character.
• a red herring A piece of information or a detail that is misleading and draws attention away from the real issue.
• a sight for sore eyes A person or thing that you are very glad to see; a welcome sight.
• a snowball's chance in hell No chance at all; absolutely no hope of success.
• a storm in a teacup A great deal of anger or worry about something that is really very small and unimportant.
• a whippersnapper A young person who is overconfident, cheeky, or presumptuous — usually said by someone older.
• a wild goose chase A long, hopeless search or pursuit that leads nowhere.
• a wolf in sheep's clothing A dangerous or dishonest person who hides behind a harmless, friendly appearance.
• across the pond On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean — used by British and American speakers to refer to each other's country.
• all gone pear-shaped Said when a plan or situation has gone badly wrong.
• all hat and no cattle Describes someone who talks big or looks the part but has nothing real to back it up.
• as exciting as watching grass grow Extremely boring; utterly dull.
• as the crow flies In a straight line; the most direct distance between two places, ignoring roads and bends.
• bite the bullet To force yourself to do something difficult or unpleasant that you have been avoiding.
• bless your heart Literally a kind blessing — but in the American South it is often a sugar-coated way to call someone foolish, pitiful, or plain wrong.
• Bob's your uncle And there you have it; the task is done and it was easy. Said at the end of a simple set of instructions.
• break a leg Good luck — especially said to a performer before they go on stage.
• built like a brick outhouse Describes a person, usually a man, who is very large, solid, and powerfully built.
• burn the midnight oil To work or study late into the night.
• busier than a one-armed paperhanger Extremely busy; frantically occupied.
• butter wouldn't melt in your mouth Describes someone who looks completely innocent and harmless — often with a hint that they are not.
• butterflies in your stomach A fluttering, nervous feeling, usually before something exciting or frightening.
• by the skin of your teeth Only just; by the narrowest possible margin.
• carrying coals to Newcastle Doing something completely pointless, because you are supplying something to a place that already has plenty of it.
• cat got your tongue A teasing question asked when someone is unexpectedly silent or has no answer ready.
• champing at the bit Extremely eager and impatient to get started.
• chew the fat To chat in a long, relaxed, friendly way about nothing in particular.
• clean someone's clock To beat someone decisively — either in a physical fight or, more loosely, in a contest or argument.
• cloud cuckoo land An unrealistic, over-optimistic state of mind; a fantasy world out of touch with reality.
• cool as a cucumber Very calm and relaxed, especially in a stressful situation.
• cost an arm and a leg To be extremely expensive.
• couldn't hit the broad side of a barn Describes someone with terrible aim, or, more loosely, someone hopelessly inaccurate at anything.
• cut the mustard To reach the required standard; to be good enough.
• dead as a doornail Completely dead, or — of an object — utterly broken and lifeless.
• dead from the neck up Very stupid; completely lacking in sense.
• discombobulated Confused, flustered, and thrown off balance.
• doesn't have both oars in the water A jokey way of saying that someone is not thinking clearly, or is a bit foolish.
• don't count your chickens before they hatch Do not assume something will succeed, or rely on it, before it has actually happened.
• donkey's years A very long time.
• dressed to the nines Dressed very smartly and elaborately, in your finest clothes.
• dumb as a box of rocks Extremely stupid.
• easy peasy Extremely easy; requiring no real effort at all.
• egg on your face To look foolish or embarrassed because of something you said or did.
• fit as a fiddle In very good health and excellent physical condition.
• flogging a dead horse Wasting effort on something that has no chance of success.
• go bananas To become wildly excited, angry, or out of control.
• gobbledygook Language so full of jargon or nonsense that it is impossible to understand.
• gone to the dogs Said of something that has declined badly and fallen into a poor or ruined state.
• happy as a clam Very happy and content.
• happy as a pig in mud Completely happy and content.
• happy as Larry Extremely happy and carefree.
• higgledy-piggledy In a confused, disordered, jumbled-up way.
• high as a kite Extremely excited or euphoric; also used of someone strongly affected by drink or drugs.
• hold your horses Wait; slow down; do not be so hasty.
• it's not rocket science A way of saying that something is not difficult and should be easy to understand.
• kick the bucket To die.
• kill two birds with one stone To solve two problems or achieve two goals with a single action.
• knee-high to a grasshopper Very small or very young; often used of someone remembered from early childhood.
• let sleeping dogs lie To avoid disturbing a situation that is currently calm, in case you cause fresh trouble.
• let the cat out of the bag To reveal a secret, usually carelessly.
• like a deer in the headlights Frozen with fear, shock, or confusion, and unable to react.
• like herding cats Describes a task that is nearly impossible because the people or things involved refuse to cooperate or move together.
• like nailing jelly to a wall Describes a task that is impossible because the thing keeps slipping away and will not hold still.
• like two peas in a pod Two people or things that are extremely similar, or always found together.
• like watching paint dry Extremely boring; dull beyond endurance.
• mad as a box of frogs Completely crazy, in a chaotic and usually harmless or endearing way.
• mad as a hatter Completely crazy or wildly eccentric.
• madder than a wet hen Extremely angry and irritated.
• mutton dressed as lamb An older person, usually a woman, dressed in a style meant for someone much younger.
• not playing with a full deck A jokey way of saying that someone is foolish or not mentally all there.
• not the brightest crayon in the box A gentle, jokey way of saying that someone is not very intelligent.
• not the sharpest tool in the shed A gentle, jokey way of saying that someone is not very intelligent.
• nutty as a fruitcake Very eccentric, foolish, or crazy.
• once in a blue moon Very rarely; almost never.
• piece of cake Something very easy to do.
• play it by ear To deal with a situation as it develops, without a fixed plan.
• pleased as punch Very pleased, proud, and delighted.
• preaching to the choir Arguing in favour of something to people who already agree with you, so the effort is wasted.
• pull someone's leg To tease or fool someone in a playful, harmless way; to tell them something untrue as a joke.
• pushing up daisies Dead and buried.
• put a sock in it A blunt request for someone to stop talking or be quiet.
• raining cats and dogs Raining very heavily.
• saved by the bell Rescued from a difficult situation at the very last moment.
• selling like hotcakes Selling very quickly and in large numbers.
• skedaddle To run away or leave somewhere quickly.
• snug as a bug in a rug Very warm, cosy, and comfortable.
• spend a penny A polite, old-fashioned way of saying you are going to use the toilet.
• spill the beans To reveal a secret, often by accident.
• take the biscuit To be the most surprising, annoying, or extreme example of something — usually said in disbelief.
• talk the hind legs off a donkey To talk endlessly; to be extremely, exhaustingly talkative.
• the bee's knees Something or someone excellent — first-rate, the very best.
• the best thing since sliced bread A jokey way of praising something as a wonderful new invention or idea.
• the cat's pajamas Something or someone wonderful, stylish, or first-rate.
• the dog days of summer The hottest, most sluggish stretch of the summer.
• the elephant in the room An obvious, important problem that everyone present can see but no one wants to mention.
• the elevator doesn't go to the top floor A jokey way of saying that someone is not very intelligent or is mentally lacking.
• the lights are on but nobody's home A jokey way of saying that someone is not paying attention, or is not very bright.
• the straw that broke the camel's back The final small problem that, added to many others, finally causes a collapse or breakdown.
• the whole kit and caboodle Everything; the entire collection of things, with nothing left out.
• the whole nine yards Everything; the full extent of something, with nothing left out.
• throw a spanner in the works To do something that suddenly disrupts a plan or stops it from working.
• throw in the towel To give up; to admit defeat and stop trying.
• under the weather Slightly unwell or ill.
• wear your heart on your sleeve To show your emotions and feelings openly, where everyone can see them.
• when pigs fly Never. A sarcastic way to say that something will not happen.
• when the cows come home For a very long time, or — more often — never; used to say something will take forever or simply will not happen.
• wouldn't say boo to a goose Describes a person who is extremely shy, meek, or timid.